Tag Archives: communication

Off target…

At one point when Eedy was in his early teens he was assessed as needing male staff only. This had come out of the blue, so I questioned it with his then care provider. “It’s all legit,” I was told, “it’s from his risk assessment”. I further asked if his aggressive behaviour had increased without my knowledge. It hadn’t but I was firmly informed that Eedy had a history of ‘targeting female staff’, and the management of this was to ensure he only had male staff supporting him from now on.

Funnily enough, I was still able to have Eedy home. I was still able to go out with him. I was still able to drive a car with him as the single passenger. He could still be on his own with his little sister. And even funnier… we didn’t feel there was any threat.

So Eedy’s staff team became male. He came home one weekend, shortly after the changes, and I asked him if what he knew about it all. “I target females,” he told me. I asked him if he knew what that meant.

“Oh yes”, he replied confidently “It’s when I run at the women to get them to make those nice high pitched squealing noises like Nanny does!”

Me: …..

Late night chats

I used to get hugs from Mogs when she went to bed. But they were ‘rote’ learnt hugs, you know, like hugging a plank of wood. Something she had to do. Because we’d said it was the right way to say goodnight.

Now, every now and again, I get late night talks with her. She’s pragmatic, sensible and balanced. An excellent sounding board and a bloody good listener.

Funny how things change. At the first ‘growing up’ opportunity Mogs dropped the hugs. Initially beginning with her manipulating a non-bedtime bedtime. So she could get away with it. Then the “g’night” would be sounded as she was already half way up the stairs.

Now it’s an adult “night then” on the nights we’ve spent talking. They are becoming more frequent. I love these. It means we’ve chatted, caught up and I’m the one really valuing our discussions, adult to adult. Her autism means she doesn’t overdo the words (unlike me). She listens, gives her opinion, but does not advise.

Something I need to learn more of.