Daily Archives: April 3, 2017

A hyperactive protest

When Eedy was young, shopping was his least favourite activity. Usually his mum would round up a willing second adult and in true one to one fashion, Mogs would be allocated to one adult and Eedy to the other. It would be a squirmy, wriggly type of trip. Eedy would treat the many grabs and holds as a challenge to win, success rated by his ingenious methods of writhing out of the holds and running as quickly as he could towards whatever opportunity presented itself first.

He had a few favourite ways of alleviating the boredom he so obviously felt. And if he succeeded in a triumphant release from ‘The Adult’ he had his escape route planned to perfection. In no particular order, these favourite escapades were:

  • Scooting towards the nearest door in a shop marked ‘staff only’ and heading inside without hesitation. Leaving The Adult to run behind, grasping at his jumper, his trousers, his arm… anything that could stop the rapid path of hyperactivity whilst issuing apologetic words and glances in response to the disparaging looks and scaving comments of the shop staff
  • Bolting towards the checkout and with immense superhuman reach (way beyond the natural scope that a child below the age of ten could possibly have) pressing every possible button on the till. This particular escapade would again leave The Adult red faced and apologetic in the midst of judgemental tutting, and scornful comments. All said heatedly to the piercing tones, bleeds and alarms from said till.
  • Scarpering at full speed towards the nearest elevator – a successful run was that which resulted in Eedy streaking through the lift door just as it was shutting, leaving The Adult aghast as the doors shut. After a harassed sprint to the next floor for The Adult, Eedy would be waiting just outside the lift, ready to run amok around the shop with The Adult in hot pursuit, flustered, harried and by this time pretty damn angry. (The anger of The Adult would directly correspond to the level of excitement Eedy felt that was shown by a wild demonic smile of victory and wringing hands)

Perhaps in Eedy’s repertoire, his greatest moment came in a music shop. He had been particularly calm on this occasion, so the iron cast grip had been somewhat relaxed. All had gone well for a couple of shopping trips and The Adults were beginning to optimistically believe that Eedy was maturing from his anti-shopping campaign. Eedy, never one to let an opportunity go by, seized the moment. He twisted out of the hold and ran towards a gentleman in a wheelchair, pushing it forward with all of his might. The guy in the chair must have felt the sudden surge, and on turning around could not see Eedy as his height was below that of the backrest. He shoved again and all that could be seen was the horror on the guy’s face as he turned back to face the front and the penny dropped – his chair was heading straight for the shop steps to the basement. It was like a slow motion movie. Eedy pushing with all of his might, The Adult leaping forward to intercept him and the guy grabbing at the wheels of his chair to halt the forward momentum.

It all came together at the eleventh hour. Eedy was grabbed. The wheelchair was halted within a hair breath of the steps. Situation aborted (other than some very unhappy adults).

This was a full on win of a situation for Eedy. No amount of chastising could wipe the grin off his face and the excitement as he jumped up and down, wringing his hands together in glee. The victorious phrase of ‘Find the wheelchair man’ became a regular refrain for months after.

He still loves to be told of the story now. Fortunately he has matured from this stage of his life, but the stories, recounting each and every misdemeanour still bring him great delight and laughter.